FEATURE: RELIGION, CULTURE AND DOMESTIC VIOLENCE

 

A majority of men in this country have had reason to slap, push, or shove their spouse in anger at home, at some point in their relationship, without thinking twice about it.

Battery or assault of any kind, inflicted on anyone by whomsoever, is actually unlawful and punishable with severe sanctions. What makes this so tragic is, there is a broad acceptance of casual infliction of violence in a relationship as routine, and no big deal.

It is so routine that, sometimes, it is done in the open; in the communal yard, alleyways, and even in broad daylight.

All you usually get at the sight of a man beating his spouse is an appeal to him to ‘take it easy’, and ‘calm down’. Sometimes maybe offer them prayers.

Men have however also been known to be at the receiving end of violent attacks by women. But, by and large, that is an aberration; it is still a man’s world.

 

Religion, Tradition and Culture have been guilty in many ways in contributing to the preponderance of Domestic Violence.

 1. Asserting authority: Using Scripture, Tradition and Cultural Norms to impose gender roles that are abusive or coercive, to assert authority, to reinforce male priviledge, to make the victim submit to given commands or get punished.

2. Prolonging Abusive Relations: Using Scripture, Tradition and Cultural Norms to encourage forgiveness in order to keep the relationship together, to sacrifice oneself for the relationship, and to remain silent or accept the abuse.

3. Using Community Coercion: Using Clergy or Lay Leader, Friends and/or family from the same faith or cultural community to put pressure on the victim to stay in the relationship or put up with the abuse. Coercion may take the form of letters, phone calls and social comments on behalf of the abuser.

4. Stigma and Isolation: This may take the form of isolating the victim from his/her faith or cultural community. The abused person may be threatened with excommunication, restriction from participating in certain services and activities. The victim is kept suffering for fear of religious or social stigma.

5. Forced Marriages: Using Scripture, Tradition and Cultural Norms to force minors into marriage or to arrange marriage between two totally incompatible people. Such people most of the time don’t blend in the long run yet the society expects them to continue to endure.

6. The Blame Game: The victim is sometimes blamed, regarded as unclean, weak, sinful and ungodly. I’ve listened to excuses that a rape victim must have been guilty of indecent dressing or flirting with with her abusers.

Scripture, Tradition and Cultural Norms can also provide the panacea to curb Domestic Violence.

The roles include the following.

1. Justice: Ensuring justice for an abused person will serve as deterrent to other would-be abusers. However, prevention of abuse is more useful. This can be achieved through education and training for detection of early traits of abusive behaviour.

2. Establishing a plan of action: An action plan should be put in place to follow in case of an abuse. This will encourage an abused person to ask for help. Not knowing what to do is one of the greatest problems faced by an abused person.

3. Education and Sensitization: Educative programs should be organized to sensitize people on causes, signs and remedies for Domestic Violence. The ability to identify a potential abuser early will help curb the incidence to a great extent.

4. Speak Up Campaign: A safe haven should be provided where abused persons can run to and be assured of protection and justice.

5. Handling: Religious, Community and Traditional leaders should be trained and kept abreast of ways to handle incidences of Domestic Violence. This also includes providing access to immediate medical care.

6. Counselling and Psychotherapy: It is not enough to just help the victim recover physically. The abused person must be counselled and assisted to heal mentally. The services of professionals may be sought.

7. Priorities: The physical and mental safety of the abused person should take priority over cultural, societal and religious considerations

 

Cultural norms still exist that perpetuate the problem. For example, the tradition of not interfering in matters between family members that occur in private has led to reluctance for government, the criminal justice system, and other systems to respond adequately to domestic violence, despite being a crime.

 

To curb Relationship Violence, Religion, Culture and Tradition all have a role to play.

 

Domestic violence can affect anyone, regardless of how they identify, the communities they belong to, or how they are seen by others.