AGBEKE ABA: TRAVAILS OF AN AFRICAN WOMAN WHO SURVIVED IT ALL

 

AGBEKE ABA: 

TRAVAILS OF AN AFRICAN WOMAN WHO SURVIVED IT ALL

The first time I met her was on a Monday morning as kids reporting for secondary school.

The ones in boarding house had reported in the hostels on Saturday.

The students came from various backgrounds.

There were those from High Class homes.

Most were from Middle Class backgrounds. I belonged to that group.

The third set were from obviously Poor Homes. There weren’t many of them. Their parents were mostly illiterate. Agbeke was in this clan.

 

Agbeke was a day student. She lived in the village very close to the school. She lived with her grandmother who made and sold Pap (Eko) in the village.

She was not bothered by the affluence displayed by the well-to-do children.

In those days it was not unusual to have a nick name. Agbeke had many. “Omo Iya Eleko” (Daughter of the pap seller), “Agbeke Aba” (Agbeke from the village), ”Ugly duckling” were the ones I remember.

She would laugh at these jokes meant to taunt her.

On Saturday mornings we had “Eko ati Efo”. Agbeke would bring baskets of “Eko” to the school kitchen very early in the morning. The interesting thing was she was not ashamed or laid low. She enjoyed doing all her chores. After some time, the other girls from the girls hostel started joining Agbeke on Saturday mornings.

 

One thing however stood her in good stead. AGBEKE WAS VERY BRILLIANT.

She was good at almost everything.

She was a leading member of the Dramatic Society.

Agbeke was in the Top Three in the Literary and Debating Society.

We were very close. We were both unsocial. Michael was the third person in our triad. We were small and unexposed.

We worked together for the Arts Exhibition at the British Library in Dugbe.

The only pass time my friend had was Reading and Writing.

 

When we finished school and the results came out, Agbeke was the only girl in what we called the “Top Five” then. She came out in Grade one with distinction.

 

We went back to our homes in the cities. Agbeke remained in the village.

 

Agbeke worked as a Clerk in the school and got involved with a Youth Corps member serving in the school. (Youth Corpers were like demi-gods to students then, having already passed through higher institutions).

The corper left after a year only for Agbeke to discover that she was pregnant. When we were in the universities, our friend was a Single Mother in the village at less than twenty years old. The mother was livid with rage, claiming Agbeke had brought her shame. Iya Eleko was however a pillar of support. She carried Agbeke’s baby on her back with pride all around the village. The old woman provided succor and encouragement.

 

Michael and I visited her once in the village during the long vacation. We spoke for hours and Agbeke never showed any sign of despair. We were leaving when Iya Eleko came in with the baby. She carried the baby around so Agbeke could concentrate on preparing for university admission. Ageke’s grandmother thanked us and prayed for us.

 

In 1981, I had gone to University of Ibadan campus for an Invitational Scrabble Competition during the Long Vac. We used to gather for Scrabble either at UI or Poly Ibadan during the long vacations and each person represented his or her school.

Alas, my opponent from University of Ilorin was Agbeke.

Agbeke graduated in flying colours.

 

Some years back I found my friend again on Facebook. Agbeke Aba has become a Professor and works in one top University in the United States of America. Agbeke’s second attempt at finding love had failed, she told me. She had been married to a Ghanaian she met in the United States. The marriage broke down irretrievably. The man was a drug addict and violent person. It almost broke her down but she threw herself into her books.

I inquired about her son. He works in Lagos with one of the communication companies.

She survived the second bout of heart break.

 

About two years ago, my old school mate was diagnosed positive of COVID-!9 infection. I was worried but prayerful.

 

Last week, Michael called me and asked me to go check Agbeke’s status. Mischievous as ever, he did not tell me what to expect. I called Mike back but he didn’t pick my calls. I was worried. I was offline. I wasn’t anywhere near my laptop.

The hours before getting home were “Not Easy’.

On Agbeke’s Status was her picture full of smiles THANKING GOD FOR SURVIVING THE BOUT.

My immediate message to her was “THREE-ZERO”.

 

SHE HAS SURVIVED AGAIN.

Agbeke always survived because she is dogged. She is a fighter.

She didn’t let the “Village girl” status get her down or discourage her then in school.

She came out of her misadventure with the corper.

Her marriage failed but she didn’t crash.

Now she has survived COVID-19.

 

NO MATTER YOUR SITUATION, WITHDRAWING INSIDE AND BROODING WILL ONLY MAKE YOU WORSE. SELF PITY WILL ONLY WORSEN YOUR SITUATION.

GET OUT OF IT EVEN THOUGH IT IS NOT EASY.

WHEN THE STORM CATCHES YOU UNDERWATER, RELAXING WILL GET YOU SWEPT AWAY BY THE UNDERTOW WHICH THE PEOPLE ON THE SHORE DON’T SEE.

WHEN YOU STRUGGLE AND GET YOUR HEAD ABOVE THE WATER, YOUR HELP WILL COME AND YOU WILL SURVIVE.

IN MY PART OF THE WORLD, THE GIRL CHILD IS GROSSLY DISADVANTAGED. SHE IS EASILY TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF.

THE VILLAGE GIRL IS PARTICULARLY VULNERABLE.

HAVING A BABY FOR A RUN-AWAY FATHER USUALLY MARKS THE END-OF-THE-ROAD FOR MANY.

SOME BROKEN HEARTS NEVER MEND. A HEART BROKEN TWICE USUALLY DOES NOT HEAL.

AGBEKE WAS NOT LAID DOWN WHEN THE VIRUS CAME.

SHE WOULD NOT BE COWED, NOT EVEN BY THE KILLER COVID.

Femi Ladapo writes from Ibadan, Nigeria.